"The basin full of dishes, I almost drag myself every day to clean them, and keep them at proper place. It seems as if my life has become a waste, where I can't identify myself as what I was 20 years back, and what destiny has turned me into... The entire day is all about managing the household, and raising my children. Yes! I recently won a gold medal at my son's school for being the 'Best Mother of the Year 2013', look here's that medal... But there's always a void in me... as if I need something more, as if this is not the only thing I would want... Yap. I know you would call me crazy, especially after listening to all the family members who have been praising about my hard work, and my dedication in my family and for all the chores which would help them grow. But I still feel quite differently... their appreciation is although a lot for me, but certainly not everything... I don't understand what is it that is making me so shallow inside...
Don't you dare question my husband's affection for me. I know he's a responsible man... and is doing all his duties quite well.
But what do I do with this feeling? Please help me..."
I kept looking at this lady with amazement for some time, and then acknowledged her feelings of not being hopeless, as she would soon find out answer to all her queries... She just needs some time with herself probably, I made her understand this... She didn't seem to be contented, but I couldn't make her feel vulnerable with all my sympathetic expressions. She stood up from the seat nearby, to catch hold of her little kid as it was his dinner time. And I shied with apprehension, and thought she would try to resonate with her thoughts and feelings soon... Thinking this I too proceeded with my work and went back home from the jogger's park.
Apparently, that lady had not left the park that moment, and was looking back at me going ahead with my work with a confident smile on my face. Thinking about herself and the confidence she had on herself in the past, her thoughts grew dense, and her sadness worsened her night even more...
Failing to find a reason at all about her dilemmas, she kept thinking while she was waiting for her husband to return back home on the bay window of her child's room. She rocked him to sleep and sung lullabies, although it made her feel good about her potentials, yet she was still thinking about what would it be like when she would see her husband after a weeks long time tonight.
Hours passed by, everyone had slept, it was midnight already, when suddenly she heard a knock at the door. She ran to open the door and see his face for once and welcome him gracefully... But his least interested and tired looks broke her heart again... he paced up to his room, and she tried to find way running after him with a glass of water, and a chance to talk to him, "Do you want some water? Or shall I arrange dinner for you? You look so tired and tensed, is everything alright? How was your trip?" Her excitement on seeing him back again was so much that she constantly kept ignoring his need to be left alone... "Look I am wearing the same saree you gifted me last month. How is it? How do I look in this? Isn't it beautiful? Oh! I was waiting for you to come back... I missed you a lot."
... no response from his side. He kept looking at her for a while, when she broke in silence, he was straight-forward to ask her to leave the room, as he is not interested in all her stupidity... He felt tired and wanted to stay alone, and silently moved back to his bed. She was shocked and heart broken to see her husband reacting the same as always, and least bothered about her... tears rolled down her round chubby cheeks, and after a moment of heartbreak, she dragged herself back to her bed to just lie down besides him as always, staring at the stars.
Her tears couldn't stop tonight... and breathlessly sobbing voice made him a bit conscious. He rolled back to check if she was still crying or had slept off.. realizing some movement, she held her breathe expecting him to have understood her, but yet again he said, "Why can't you let me sleep? I do so much of work the entire day, earn you money, and now you don't even let me take a good night sleep. What do you want??"
She pushed him back, stood up wiped off her reddened teary eyes, and with the aggressive tone, said him, "I don't want your money. I have no regrets of landing up here, since now, I know you will never understand me. I wish you could realize that money is just to keep the family happy, and when I stand here with all my emotions tonight, I just wanted you to know that... All I want is Love..."
Don't you dare question my husband's affection for me. I know he's a responsible man... and is doing all his duties quite well.
But what do I do with this feeling? Please help me..."
I kept looking at this lady with amazement for some time, and then acknowledged her feelings of not being hopeless, as she would soon find out answer to all her queries... She just needs some time with herself probably, I made her understand this... She didn't seem to be contented, but I couldn't make her feel vulnerable with all my sympathetic expressions. She stood up from the seat nearby, to catch hold of her little kid as it was his dinner time. And I shied with apprehension, and thought she would try to resonate with her thoughts and feelings soon... Thinking this I too proceeded with my work and went back home from the jogger's park.
Apparently, that lady had not left the park that moment, and was looking back at me going ahead with my work with a confident smile on my face. Thinking about herself and the confidence she had on herself in the past, her thoughts grew dense, and her sadness worsened her night even more...
Failing to find a reason at all about her dilemmas, she kept thinking while she was waiting for her husband to return back home on the bay window of her child's room. She rocked him to sleep and sung lullabies, although it made her feel good about her potentials, yet she was still thinking about what would it be like when she would see her husband after a weeks long time tonight.
Hours passed by, everyone had slept, it was midnight already, when suddenly she heard a knock at the door. She ran to open the door and see his face for once and welcome him gracefully... But his least interested and tired looks broke her heart again... he paced up to his room, and she tried to find way running after him with a glass of water, and a chance to talk to him, "Do you want some water? Or shall I arrange dinner for you? You look so tired and tensed, is everything alright? How was your trip?" Her excitement on seeing him back again was so much that she constantly kept ignoring his need to be left alone... "Look I am wearing the same saree you gifted me last month. How is it? How do I look in this? Isn't it beautiful? Oh! I was waiting for you to come back... I missed you a lot."
... no response from his side. He kept looking at her for a while, when she broke in silence, he was straight-forward to ask her to leave the room, as he is not interested in all her stupidity... He felt tired and wanted to stay alone, and silently moved back to his bed. She was shocked and heart broken to see her husband reacting the same as always, and least bothered about her... tears rolled down her round chubby cheeks, and after a moment of heartbreak, she dragged herself back to her bed to just lie down besides him as always, staring at the stars.
Her tears couldn't stop tonight... and breathlessly sobbing voice made him a bit conscious. He rolled back to check if she was still crying or had slept off.. realizing some movement, she held her breathe expecting him to have understood her, but yet again he said, "Why can't you let me sleep? I do so much of work the entire day, earn you money, and now you don't even let me take a good night sleep. What do you want??"
She pushed him back, stood up wiped off her reddened teary eyes, and with the aggressive tone, said him, "I don't want your money. I have no regrets of landing up here, since now, I know you will never understand me. I wish you could realize that money is just to keep the family happy, and when I stand here with all my emotions tonight, I just wanted you to know that... All I want is Love..."
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