A Teenage Madness

Just like a typical girl... while I was wondering about being in Love, and living my life happily ever after, one of my friends shook me of my day dreams and asked me to accompany her for a movie. Ting Tong!... "A movie?" I asked, and her sweet smiling face looked at me, and all that I could see was a hope of affirmation. Knowing that I hate going out for movies, I still agreed to go along. Somethings are destined I believe...
She already knew my state of mind, and so was I, very depressed like a rotten fish. Though we were in the hall, I was still lost in my daydreams. Ah! yes... the guess is probably right. It was a guy. One who came in my life and I couldn't resist his charm.
The movie started. It was about three friends living together and having fun all the time. The only thing they lacked was love, and so were looking forward to falling in love one day. somehow they met their girls, and moved on with a very happy relationship. But as their relationship grew, they realized how they've created a problem for themselves. They were like carefree animals at some time, but now have turned into puppets. I agree the movie was way too negative about being in a relationship, for me its never the same... though I could realize where my life was taking me. It was as if I woke up from deep sleep, rubbed my eyes, and looked at her face... I laughed out aloud and realized what I did wasn't my true self. 'The Girl Instinct!' something which made me behave like the typical Ashley girl. I now realize that life can never be like a fairy tale: 'Happily ever after'.
So pondering upon a dream and keep thinking about it is completely useless, because life will bring what it has for you eventually. Being your own self matters, and one who can't accept you in your reality, doesn't deserve you. People say love makes you blind, but I'd say it makes you completely senseless. After having seen the movie, I realized how crazy I was for him. But one can't always live in dreams, one day or the other reality has to be faced. So its better if not labelled a 'Bitch!' Being in a relationship which doesn't allow one to be thyself is next to hell.
Liking someone, being in a relationship with him, and living the entire lifetime with him are entirely different things, and with every step ahead, the complexity is bound to increase. One who understands this complexity may reach the goal, others might just wander. "Sometimes its a form of love to talk to someone that you've nothing in common with and still be fascinated about their presence." says David Byrne. I too discovered the amount of love I carry deep within me, the softness of loving and belonging to someone who would appreciate my presence and compliment me for it throughout his life. I realized the unheard desires within me, the amount of passion and vigor that I've, and in all the loveable and loving Me... through my encounter with him. Though it'd just be a teenage madness for someone... its still the beginning of new Me, and the credit goes to him =)
Loads of Love to you wherever you are and will be... and thanks for unknowingly doing what means a lot... now and ever, forever <3 

The Love Bird!

It's just a couple of hours back when I completed reading the sequel of the novel 'I too had a Love Story'... and ever-since I'm awestruck at the story... as I read each and every word, tears rolled down my eyes, and the way author has described the modern love stories in his second book is commendable.
"Love, like life, is so insecure. It moves in our lives and occupies its sweet space in our hearts so easily. But it never guarantees that it'll stay there forever. Probably that's why it is so precious." says Ravin. He's very true in whatever is said, that once you are in love only then will you realize its beauty. What does one feel when someone becomes the center of their life and everything suddenly starts revolving around them! How does one feel when each moment they spend alone brings in a thought 'it'd have been much better if he was here'! How the cheeks glow red and eyes shining yet shy when you know, even in a huge group, his eyes are always searching for you... just too see you, to feel you closer, to know how you are doing, and to make you realize how mesmerizing you are and that he's dazzled by your way of complementing his every move which brings you both closer and even closer.
After reading Ravin's story... I'm greatly touched with his sincere adoration and devoutness in his love... It actually took me several days to finally digest what actually had happened to him, when I got to know that Khushi was no more... and second big shock came when 24th February marked another tragedy of his life... I don't know how much is it true, but what I read in the book is what i'm acknowledging. I just can't believe for how can destiny be so rude to a person! The very first day when I read the title for his second arrival,'Can Love happen Twice?' I was somewhere happy to sense something good might turn out. But I don't know how much, this has made me much more anxious and curious for what has happened to him? how is he doing now? is he committed or still single?  
And every time I read his both the books, I realize for how love is never a part of reality... it makes you forget everything else, but not the one... it makes you float in the seventh sky, where everything seems so perfect, so easy, that every hurdle in life seems minuscule... and the only mantra that keeps you flowing with the flow is "Love is in the air" =) How beautiful! Isn't it?
...And what if the claws of the 'reality trap' catches hold of 'the free flying love bird' one day? I wonder for how many love stories have actually survived their reality phase! I wonder is getting married to someone the 'Happy ending' we all are looking for in our life? And if it's not just about marrying someone you love but to live your entire life with them... then why do people not understand the importance of being realistic in their desires... No doubt in Ravin's story, he was very much close to his grounded reality, but when similar thing wasn't reciprocated by the counterpart, what's the use of it? How long can a person hold on such a relationship? And if someone discovers later how there union will prove to be the biggest disaster, will the love ever die? Can't a person love someone even when he/she knows they can't be one in their entire life time? What will today's generation call it?
It's not with one but with most of us that, the person we actually love can never be a part of our life. Does that mean you'll start loving him less? or Will you start believing that love was never meant for you? I believe most of us face this situation in our life, and later discover what happened, happened for good... And this is where one comes equally close to their by default partners. What will you call it - love or duty? And we have forgotten the true essence of LOVE =)
It's not something that can be described or defined for you to know the parameters of how, why and when are you in love. It's a feeling which when occurs will make you realize how much the other person matters to you and how your life will be incomplete without him. Its a feeling of bliss where you enjoy the best of your time... and I fell short of words. Though there's just one thing I can never forget, no matter love is some extraordinary feeling, it makes the world go round, but money buys the ticket. I don't mean to become selfish about your desires or comforts, because love is always selfless, but to be more practical in life before committing to anyone, so that when the clouds of passion are clear, you don't have to face a low lit flame of love in your relationship.

a cup of coffee...

Hmmm... I still remember that day! Sweaty and sultry... and the scorching heat with warm wind blowing inside the room... and fans with a medieval frame, made it almost unbearable for me to stay in my senses. With a spaghetti and a shorts... hair half lied I lied upside down on my crumpled bed with my stationary and some wafers all scattered besides me... I wrapped half in a sheet rolled over my legs to prevent them from mosquito bite with a ton of odomos applied, a thick layer of sweaty dirt all around the skin making it dull and damp... with no proper cleaning/scrubbing, eyes circled dark, covered with thick glasses, eyelids blinking with every tick of the watch, with no one except the insects, medieval fan, warm breeze, stinking smell of rotten fruits and me lying on my unmade bed like a corpse in my room... I somehow managed to gather enough strength to open the magic wing~my mailbox... and What The Hell!... Just a few messages flashing the due dates of the bills and some non-sense advertisement commercials. Ah! the day was bad... very bad infact! I opened my FB account that day after a very long time with a hopeless heart... but it made me little happy with some messages from my school friends... When just about to click on 'Sign Out'.... suddenly popes in a chat message, saying,"Hey.. Wats up? Long time... I thought I'd never be able to see you again."

... and that's how the transformation started... from a mere acquaintance online to becoming coffee friends, over a couple of hours... and now being very nice friends... mere thought makes me feel so blessed. An angel who turned my life to a completely new angle... from a lifeless body like a fried fish to a lively chirping Nightingale. One whom I know is always there with me, no matter what... who doesn't need any material source to reach me, the inner me... one who's always a friend... and will always be. Its on this Christmas I wish God fulfill all his desires, his wishes in life and bless him with loads of love and happiness.

Where coffee is symbolized with the passion in our life, the meaning of experiences with it for everyone are different altogether. Its this Cup of Coffee which helped me discover the Unexplored Me, and find passions of my life... Had I not dared to risk that moment, I'd have missed on a very special person in my life... no matter wherever you are... your spark will always inspire me. Thanks alot my friend! You'll also be the one-and-only for me... regardless of everything... and this is what makes me say how 'Alot can happen over a Cup of Coffee' =)

Love and Light! 

... and I am a girl!

Everyone says being a girl means leading a life that belongs to others not you... Sacrificing at every step, toiling hard to make your own identity, still being referred as 'Grihalaxmi'. From birth till death, a girl's life is like a burden on the shoulders, dragged by father first, then the husband, and son... for which working day and night as a housekeeper is the only alternative left for her, regardless of her own wishes and desires. Changing times might have changed her life... but the struggle still remains the same... the hardships which have now spread wings wider, taking them to all the domains of life, from professional world to the household. But the things which haven't changed are male chauvinism... and the social norms which make her handicapped enough with an overload of becoming a good homemaker along with having her own social identity, which is kind of a necessity these days. Women are now facing endless challenges at every step ahead... more the delve deeper into their equal rights, more are the difficulties for them to fight the male chauvinist society, where at some places they are looked down upon as 'paun ki dhul'. Where some parents educate their daughters to make them self reliant and self sufficient, so that their life with in-laws is not a problem in any way, leading them to a path of twice the hardships as earlier... some of them still don't have enough resources to send them to school, and try to either marry them as soon as possible or sell them. Hardships and difficult life to lead ahead... that's all they get. But I'd better not generalize it...
... For there are instances of girls who have been treated as 'Dhanlaxmi' in their families throughout their life. Who have led a life of princess without having to do any sorts of hardships and struggle for their own self... and this is how I'd describe the Indian Girl midst the traditional ties... from Dhanlaxmi to Grihalaxmi.... leading a life of pleasures with pain...

Regardless of all the worries and hurdles, the kind of love and warmth they carry in their hearts is commendable. The way they hold back all the relations so close and tight... just like a garland of pearls. Might sound like some filmy dialogue, but the reality remains the same throughout... mere times and situations keep changing, the roles a girl plays in her life from a daughter to a grandmother... a long distance and a tough story to capture. A daughter being most delicate of all... who has to always keep up her spirits high, not only to maintain her parents social image, but also to provide them the emotional support in their life. Though child is all the same for parents no matter boy or girl... but daughters are still much closely attached to their parents' heart, and understands them better... not commenting on the male attachment with parents, just to see a bigger picture of no matter what a daughter will always care about her parents. I feel the same being a daughter... and I'm proud I'm a girl!